


The One Where Elio Cannot Cook

by elioolivercmbyntrash



Series: Elio & Oliver Fluffy Ficlets [6]
Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Ficlet, Fluff, I'm Sorry, M/M, One Shot, billowy is a character right?, elio cannot cook, i wrote this to get me out of writers block, its awful, little peaks into their lives, oliver finds it adorable, under 500 words, well in my eyes yes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25260460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elioolivercmbyntrash/pseuds/elioolivercmbyntrash
Summary: Elio's one smart dude, but he cannot for the life of him cook. Oliver finds this both hilarious and adorable. Short ficlet under 500 words.
Relationships: Oliver/Elio Perlman
Series: Elio & Oliver Fluffy Ficlets [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792924
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	The One Where Elio Cannot Cook

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters. They just own me. The words I wrote are mine though, so in case you are tempted to repost (I mean why anyone would be is beyond me) and claim as your own, please don't. Thanks.

“What are you doing?”

Elio is standing by the stove, stirring something that threatens to burn all of Oliver’s nose hairs off, and his eyebrows, and most likely everything in his intestines. Elio’s cheeks are pink, his eyes red, and he’s rolled Billowy’s sleeves up his arms at least ten thousand times. His face glows with sweat.

“I’m trying to make a curry,” says Elio. “Sweet potato and chickpea. It’s a recipe I found on Pinterest.” 

“I love you, but please stop cooking, OK? You suck,” says Oliver. “What spices have you even added to this?”

“I....I...um, I added all the spices in the recipe. Then I thought it didn’t taste hot enough for you? So I added some hot chilli powder.” 

“Remember the last cooking experiment? The one where you managed to cause potatoes to explode in the microwave because you forgot to stab at them with a fork? I thought we agreed that you’d only cook with me, not by yourself. You almost broke the microwave.”

“I’m sorry,” says Elio. “I was trying to do something nice for you.”

“I know you were,” says Oliver. “But, well, I think this is, like, not edible.” He chuckles and ruffles Elio’s hair. “It would either blow our brains out or our asses would be on fire. Probably both, really, with the way it smells.”

“God, my parents failed to teach me basic life skills,” says Elio, burying his face into Oliver’s jacket. 

“That’s what you get for growing up with academics who always had housekeeping,” says Oliver. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you don’t need to be sorry. I just, I don’t think this is edible,” he says, pointing to the thing Elio’s been trying to make. “Let’s get take-out instead? Pizza?”

“That stuff is  _ not  _ pizza,” says Elio. “Not even close. It’s more like, well, bread with tomato sauce and cheese. If Mafalda ever tried that -” 

“Fine,” Oliver says. “I love how passionate you get about pizza. What do you want instead? Thai food?”

“Mmmm, yes,” says Elio. “No more cooking experiments. I promise.”

“Good.”


End file.
